The Brutal Truth: Your Job Doesn't Love You Back

I'm going to be honest — this is hard even for me to say, especially as a founder. But I've come to terms with this truth, and I think you should too. If you're a high performer at work, there's every likelihood you're working long hours, pouring your life into it, and doing your absolute best to make sure things run smoothly. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as you have the right expectations. Most companies are built to make money and be sustainable. As a result, the interests of the company will always go above any individual; whether employee, top management, or C-level executive. When push comes to shove, the company is not going to pick you. The company will pick itself. This doesn't mean the company has a bad culture. It just means the company is self-preserving. Care Versus Self-Preservation If you read from me often, you'd know I'm big on culture. I always want an environment that's safe, promotes excellence, but is fun too. My mantra is to show employees they're appreciated and to create a supportive work environment — without tolerating mediocrity of any form. To create such an environment, I think it's inevitable that you develop some kind of personal relationship with your employees. This happens with leadership too when trying to build trust with the team. You show care, you show up to support them in achieving their goals, and sometimes they open up to you about personal challenges, which you weigh in on to the best of your ability. Now you have a relationship. You know the employee beyond the surface. Emotions set in. Nevertheless, this still remains a business. When an employee isn't helping the business achieve its goals or hitting set targets, those emotions won't fill the gap. Emotions won't step in to get the work done at the required level, and if you keep being driven by them, you're going to delay a conversation you should have had a long time ago. Irrespective of how much you care about the employee, you have to put the business first and let them go if things do not improve. There are always two sides to this kind of story — the employee's and the employer's. The Employee's Side — "You're Inhumane and Not Loyal" Here's something people often get wrong — your best work doesn't necessarily mean the best work. You might be giving everything you've got, and it still might not be what the company needs. Those are two very different things, and confusing them is where a lot of pain comes from. An employee may put in all their effort, do their best work, and at the end of the day be told they're being let go. It's painful, especially after all that hard work and putting up with nonsense in some cases. Maybe at some point they were even the best employee, and their question is: "After all I put in, how could they have done this to me?" I remember once asking a friend who had been let go what happened. His exact words were: "I had been performing very well and they were impressed by my work. But you won't believe that just two weeks of slacking, where I had other stuff going on and didn't deliver, they let me go." This same friend, at another time, called me up and said his manager had just been let go. He said, "I just realized — a company has no loyalty." His manager had been performing well but was sick for about a month. As a result, work suffered, deadlines were not met, and the company let him go to focus on his health. What was the expectation? That they'd be humane and loyal after all he had put in. He felt that the company was unfair and brutal in their judgement. How could they? The phrase I often hear is "…after all I put in." I understand the sentiment and I can imagine the pain, but probably, as an employee, you missed the point. The Employer's Side — It's All Transactional At the end of the day, the bottom line is this: it was all transactional. When an employee signs up to work somewhere, they sign a contract. The contract states the expectations from both sides and what the company will remit in exchange for their services. There's no mention of love or care in these contracts. It's all "you give me this and I give you that." If you gave your best last quarter and everyone in the company was so impressed by your work that you even got a raise — it doesn't mean that if next quarter you perform badly, the company has an obligation to be patient with you. You may get a performance improvement plan. It may be that your child was sick or you had some health challenges and that affected your work. Nevertheless, the company has no obligation to keep their end of the bargain when you're not keeping yours. There's the human side to this, where the company may look at your track record and give you time to get back on your feet. But if things do not improve, despite understanding your circumstances, this was all just transactional in the first place. They will have to let you go. Why? Thanks for asking. It’s because at the end of the day, the company will always pick itself. A Work Contract Is Not a Marriage A work contract is not marriage. There's no "I'm staying because of the kids." It's more like "You were supposed to do the dishes, laundry, and the lawn. You've had two weeks of doing them haphazardly. I understand you may have your legitimate reasons, but unfortunately, I can't keep paying you for haphazard work — so goodbye." It's in most cases not going to be a long, draining conversation through the night with crying, begging, and someone convincing the other they can do better. I’ll admit that it could be a hard conversation, but at the end of the day, it’s going to end with a "bye" — and honestly, it is just what it is. It Goes Both Ways This might be a controversial topic, and understandably so. As a leader, I'm learning to understand this foundational truth day by day. An employee that gets a better offer would, in many cases, not say "I understand you need me right now, so I'm going to turn down five thousand dollars more to stay with you and achieve your goals." It's transactional on their end too, especially when they have to move on. I saw a LinkedIn post recently where a founder expressed his hurt around being reduced to an item on a list. He had given more paid vacation days, more sick time off — he felt his company culture was top-notch. And yet, an employee had gotten another offer and thrown all of that out the window, citing a list of things the new company offered that his didn't. He was stunned. His reaction was essentially "So all of this we've been offering you for years doesn't count?" Well, welcome to the club of truth, brother. No, it doesn't count. Wipe your tears and move on. Don't make this a messy divorce. Just genuinely wish them the best and focus on your business. Getting hurt as an employer because someone left for greener pastures is a waste of time and energy — and so is the reverse, getting hurt as an employee because you expected the company to be loyal to you. The Bottom Line Do your part. Give it your best while you're there. Whether you're the employee or the employer, seek feedback, push yourself, and set high standards — but do it for you, not because you're expecting loyalty in return. Excellence should be your personal standard, not a bargaining chip. Because at the end of the day, this is a transaction, and either side can walk away. No hard feelings, no dramatic exits, no "after all I did for you" speeches. Make it worthwhile while it lasts, and when it's over, shake hands and keep it moving. No side owes the other anything beyond what's on that contract. The earlier we understand that, the less heartache we carry around for no reason.