Maybe you're just a necessary evil 🤷🏽‍♀️

The conversation that made me smile all day

On Monday this week, as soon as I woke up, I remembered that my extended family had agreed over the weekend to contribute some money towards a specific project. I immediately sent my share to my brother, who is basically the family’s unofficial tax collector.

A few seconds later, I received a WhatsApp message from him 👇🏾

He could have chosen to send a generic message saying he received the money. However, he chose humour and light-heartedness. That single choice created a feeling of gratitude in me, gave me cause to smile during the day when the conversation randomly crossed my mind, and most importantly, made me wonder – Does my presence in other people’s lives spark a similar feeling? Or am I just… a necessary evil?

We often confuse obligation with true appreciation. When someone shows up to a call with us, invites us for dinner, or reaches out to have a conversation, is it because they genuinely want to, or because they have to? Are they looking forward to that experience with us or really, they don’t have a choice?

Well, I wondered. What group do I fall into? No cap, I too would love to be the reason someone smiles randomly during their day 🙈

This is business: Be realistic! Sometimes, you have to be a douchebag (or so we think)

Exactly a month ago, our PM at Metrifox handed in her notice. She got another job and tripled her salary. I am genuinely proud of her.

Today is her last day and I’m working on the agenda for our Friday catch-up, which we’re dedicating to bidding her farewell and celebrating her. Last week, I asked everyone to come prepared with their speeches. I’m sure someone will mention her pineapple fried rice… I digress.

Preparing my speech caused me to think more about relational impact. Is she excited to be finally free of us? Or is she grateful for her time here? In the reverse too, am I grateful for her, or am I just relieved she’s someone else’s responsibility now?

Sometime last month, an ex-colleague sent me a message about the company’s celebratory reaction to a co-worker’s announcement that they were leaving.

But here’s the funny part: that person was incredibly effective at his job. He got shit done. His product analysis? Always solid. He came off as rude or brash sometimes, but honestly, whenever I was in meetings with him, I knew I had to bring my A-game and mediocrity wouldn’t fly.

Thinking again about my PM who’s leaving. Yes, I’ve disagreed with her on quite a number of occasions. This is business. I’m not here to protect feelings; I’m here to make sure we thrive, not merely stay afloat.

But is there a middle ground? Is there a way to be firm, demand excellence, be a no-nonsense person, and… not be a douche bag? Or should I just accept that leadership requires being the necessary evil more often than not and that’s okay?

Is there a world where despite our disagreements, she still leaves grateful for our interactions? Ermmmm…. I like to believe there is. And if that’s not the case yet, that only means I haven’t found that balance. The onus is on me to find it if I want to build a company that truly thrives.

To me, thriving isn’t just about making money, it’s about making money with people who genuinely want to keep making that money with you, because working with you leaves their day better in many ways.

Who cares about being liked?

There’s every possibility that after reading this piece, someone would start thinking, “Okay… so how do I become more likeable?”

Please don’t! This has nothing to do with being liked. And that’s exactly why my next piece is going to be about the counterfeit currency of being liked. If you’d like to be notified, well… you know what to do 👇🏾

This is about adding a sprinkle of sunlight to the days of those you interact with. Becoming the kind of person who naturally brings something to the table in a way that inspires others to grow or genuinely makes their burden lighter, without….. you guessed right…being a douchebag.

You can do all of the above and more, and still not be liked. The human race is funny like that. You can’t afford to count on affection as the measure of your impact. Affection is soooo unpredictable!

Mmmmm… that sounded so good we need to make it a quote!

Affection is so unpredictable, you can’t afford to count on it as the measure of your impact.

Abiodun Olowode, Nov 2025

Instead, be more conscious in your interactions. Work towards leaving people in a better state than you met them (or at least don’t leave them worse 🫠). In some cases, this would require you telling a painful truth in the gentlest way possible (I’m still working on this 😂), and that’s okay.

We can do this! 💪🏾

’Til next week (my subscribers know why that’s crossed out 🙃). Don’t be a douchebag 👋🏾