I ask more questions than I draw conclusions, so prepare yourself, this post might just end up being a web of unending questions. Nevertheless, I honestly think questions make us think critically, observe the norms, assess our priorities, fears and insecurities, as well as reflect on life in general.
Talking about reflections, let’s take a ride! Many a time, we’re comfortable, everything is working, we’re probably exactly where 5 years ago, we dreamed we’ll be, we can say for certain that we’re safe. Damn! We have the life we’ve always wanted, but why have we begun to feel lately like we’re just going through the motions?
Should we be somewhere different? Why does it feel like the light within us keeps dimming? Why do we have to work so hard to ignite the passion that once drove us like we were an electric powered car? What did we miss, where did we miss it and how can we get it back?
These kinds of thoughts are likely to lead us to much deeper and important questions like: Why are we not ready to do something about it? When we want to do something about it, why is our first thought to try harder at the same thing? Could it be because we’re safe here? Look, nothing is really truly broken, why would anyone want to start afresh?
Did we want what we should want, not what we really deeply wanted?, and now that we’ve got it, we’re miserable? Was the joy we had short-lived because it came from the achievement of a goal, not from a deep sense of fulfilment? Mmmmmm, questions, questions, questions!
Let’s talk about safety. Many of us like predictability, we like that we know exactly what’s going to happen and when its going to happen, and this gives us stability, and in turn makes us feel safe. We then go ahead and prioritize this stability over true joy. We say “this is supposed to make me happy”, and we intend that by saying it, it will make us happy. What a joke!
I’m not going against the fact that for some, achieving this stability does bring joy, and going through the motions is exactly what they live for. For some others though, this is not the case! There’s a burning desire within to do something different, be somewhere different, explore the depths of a calling towards something that really fulfils them, and even though they have stability where they are, it ends up not being enough.
For these folks, safety has become a trap. The fact that they can say “it’s safe here”, prevents them from going elsewhere. They give excuses like “Can’t you see how old I am?”, “I have achieved a lot here, it will be stupid to go off and do my own thing!”, “I built something beautiful here and even though it doesn’t serve my joy anymore, I love my legacy, and so I’ll stick with it!”, “Damn! This pays the bills”.
Think about the painter who never went painting because he had a WallStreet job that paid his bills, even though he hated it. The singer who never sang because, well, they’re a software developer and they have a family to care for. The builder who never went on to bricklaying because he flies planes and it’s a pretty cool job with lots of prestige. Did they sacrifice exhilarating joy and boundless fulfilment just so they could play it safe? At the end of their lives, would they be satisfied and proud, beating their chests at a job well done, or asking “What if ?”
Honestly, I don’t know. Sometimes, the sacrifice is worth it, and sometimes it’s not. The most important thing is that we’re asking the question “Is it really cozy here, or am I trapped?”.
