Vibe-Suffering, Vibe-Hiring, Vibe-Parenting or nah?

It’s another Friday. I was so occupied through the week that I didn’t have time to think about what I was going to write about today. Nevertheless, as usual, I picked up my laptop this morning with one clear rule: I have to write something. So I guess I’ll just go with the flow.

It’s going to be a day of… vibe-writing 😂

Speaking of vibing; It’s very common to hear people say, “Go with the vibe.” What they usually mean is: go with the flow and assume everything will work itself out. From my experience, that’s not always the case. In fact, it can be dangerous sometimes to just “go with the vibe” and expect things to magically fall into place.

At some point in life, you have to be intentional. Intentional about your life, your health, your business, your goals. Going with the vibe isn’t bad in itself, but you need to know when it’s appropriate.

I’m vibe-writing now, but this piece is low-stakes. Worst case, you suffer through a slightly unstructured post. Best case, the vibe is the sauce that gives it life. Either way, the consequences are minimal. If it doesn’t work, I’ll be more intentional next time. Maybe I lose a few subscribers, maybe it serves as a useful experiment; I’m fine either way.

You can’t afford to do this in every area of your life, though. Trust me.
Unless, of course, vibe-suffering is your thing 🫠

Vibe-Suffering is not my thing

This week, I had a DEXA scan. I didn’t want to vibe through life, assuming I was strong and healthy when, in reality, I might not be.

In my last post, I talked about how, as we grow older, muscle becomes a strong marker for longevity. I also talked about birthday gifts. Turns out, both conversations collided. Someone asked me what I wanted for my birthday and, after thinking about it for a while, my answer surprised even me: a DEXA scan.

I wanted to know where I actually stood; my body composition, what was working, and what needed to change; so I could start working on it now, not later.

My thought process was simple: would I rather optimise my health based on vibes, or based on real, actionable data? I chose the latter, because vibe-suffering is not my thing. I’d rather not reap the consequences of not knowing.

Vibe-Hiring is also not my thing

Let me tell you a funny story. I’ve vibe-hired once, and it backfired spectacularly. Another bad hire wasn’t technically vibe-hiring, but it was based solely on a referral. Honestly, I’d classify both as the same thing: vibe-hiring. I don’t do either anymore.

If I were to define vibe-hiring, I would say it’s not putting the right amount of work or following due process when hiring, and assuming everything will work out based on vague signals. Those signals could be what you’ve heard about the person, how you felt talking to them, how well they speak, or some other intangible “vibe.”

In reality, when you hire someone, you want them to do a job. They need to prove that they can do that job, not talk to you about when they did such a job, but actually do the job.

Sometime last year, I really needed a frontend engineer, so I asked for some resumes. I spoke with one candidate whose resume caught my eye. He walked me through a business he had started, a software platform for event booking, and the users he already had. He explained how it ran mostly on its own and how he occasionally made improvements. He talked about his approach to documentation and processes. I was blown away. In my head, this guy was going to bring huge experience to the team and help us smash our goals.

Alas, I was vibe-hoping. No wonder those hopes were vibe-smashed.

We hired him. And then the pain began. He wouldn’t show up for meetings. When he submitted work for review, there were no descriptions. You could point out the same issues on one pull request and find them repeated on the next three. It was utter chaos. He didn’t last two weeks; but I learned my lesson.

Now, before hiring, every candidate does a paid, one-week embedding with us. We give them tasks, see how they show up, how they collaborate with the team, and gauge the quality of their work. It also helps us understand what level they fit into. I won’t claim this is 100% failure-proof, but it’s a solid start to prevent premium tears.

Vibe-Parenting

Last week, my 7-year-old decided to start his own blog. It’s been some good comic relief for me, and for some of his subscribers.

He’s been committed to writing every day since he started. I don’t know how long he’ll keep it up, but the funny thing is: he only started because he saw me consistently write on Fridays.

He’d come into my room in the morning and ask what I was doing. I’d say, “It’s Friday, I’m writing,” like it was a no-brainer. Last week, when I gave that same answer, he and his sister decided I couldn’t be the only “cool kid on the block”. And so, they started their own blogs.

I’ve never thought of myself as a “good” parent. I’m just… a parent. There’s honestly no manual for this. If you ask me, many parents are just vibe-parenting, going with the flow, doing their best, and hoping it’s good enough. And when you’re dealing with a full human being, many times, that’s really all you can do.

Children will test your patience. You’ll cry. You’ll be mad. And then they’ll make you laugh by saying the darnedest things, leaving you wondering how their tiny brains even work. Being a parent is an important job; maybe the most important in the world, and it’s one place we need to try to avoid “going with the vibe”. We need to be intentional.

This past week taught me one simple way to be an intentional parent — by being intentional about myself. Kids notice these things, and they pick it up.

So, there we go. Looks like vibe-writing wasn’t so bad after all.

Like my son would say at the end of his blog posts: “Thanks for reading, and come back next time!” 😂