Hard is ok

Few people hear that something is hard and run toward it. A few like David Goggins hear the word and get pumped like a kid who heard ice cream was being delivered. The rest of us do hard things to prove something — that we're good enough, that we're not weak, that we're worthy. Or we do them because we want the reward, and hard is just the tax.

There's a saying where I come from: everything is hard, so choose your hard. I've always tried to find work I enjoy, so when hard showed up, it'd be a hard I was excited about. Nevertheless, I can categorically tell you that you won't be excited about every hard. Some hards will fling you so far from your perception of reality that you'd wish you were in an alternate universe just selling kebab. Now that I think of it, maybe selling kebab is hard too — but at least you'd have something to eat at the end of the day.

My newest hack for hard

I noticed recently that what often makes hard hard isn't the thing itself. It's the expectation we attach to the end of it. We do something expecting a particular outcome, and that expectation compounds the difficulty.

So I'm choosing to focus on the process. I know it sounds cliché, but it's helping me take things one step at a time.

Say you're interviewing at OpenAI; that already sounds hard. Now layer on the expectation that you get the job — suddenly you're carrying pressure, stress, and the anxiety of what happens if you don't.

But what if you didn't worry about the stages, and just focused on the one in front of you, expecting nothing, committed to enjoying it?

"But AB, how could you tell me to enjoy an interview, be realistic." Bruh, I am being realistic. This is a chance to meet people shaping an industry. They'll ask you questions, you'll answer them as best you can, you can ask them questions back. And… that's it. If you progress, great. If you don't, trust me — it won't matter as much as you think.

Whenever I catch myself treating something like a huge deal, I ask: if war broke out right now and all I needed to do was survive, would this matter? I've never had the answer come back as yes. Maybe you have, but I'd bet it's rarer than the no.

There's nothing wrong with hard. Hard will always come, but take expectations out of the equation, and it gets lighter — maybe even enjoyable. Who knows?

I’d like to hear how you deal with hard. I’m sure I’m not the only one with hacks.

Thanks for reading, and have a great week amigo. Catch you next time.

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